Oh dear, I have no notes to go by and it’s a while since I watched this, and there’s no way I’m watching it again lol. I think I might’ve been pretty excited when I first heard this was being made… but how long ago was that? Then suddenly it was upon us. It was one of my parents who told me, after the movie had been out for weeks in the states, that Liam Neeson was Hannibal, and I honestly didn’t believe them. And yet there, in various places, were people saying Neeson was one of the best things in it.
I think Neeson is all I have to talk about with this movie. You know, I would probably want to sit here and say how “nobody could fill George Peppard’s shoes” no matter who they cast, but seriously, Liam Neeson? He literally, once again, just plays himself here: only here, that’s not a good thing. I honestly feel like I’m taking crazy pills if anybody thinks Liam Neeson is even half-good as Hannibal here, and that’s just scratching the surface of the pointlessness on display.
This is the kind of movie that’s critic proof because everyone who loves it will simply shoot you down with “it’s The A-Team, it’s SUPPOSED to be dumb, stoopid!” … well, fair enough. I would point to it’s most pathetic thread – the removal of B.A.‘s mohawk. When this first occurred, I mistakenly took issue, thinking it was the remake police ironing out one of the TV show’s most iconic features (they’d already blown up the freakin’ van, for heck’s sake) for the sake of better publicity pictures of one of its actors or something. Instead, this turns out to be a “clever” message about violence, a setting up of a new reason why this B.A. 2.0 even has a mohawk. I would ask, if this movie is supposed to be as dumb as it is elsewhere in its overlong running time, why it’s wasting time making such hokey statements?
I wouldn’t say the script is a mess so much as it’s just equally tedious. The bulk of this movie is literally just the opening credits monologue of the TV series (just to rub it in, before the end credits role, we get that “if you have problem” spiel, supposedly meant to give us oldtimers goosebumps the way, say, the same tactic did in JJ Abrams’ more deserving Star Trek reboot). It took me about half the movie to notice this, so you can imagine how annoyed I was when I did, lol. This fact alone just makes the entire movie a presumptive a**-hole … it’s just sitting there plain expecting you to buy a ticket to the sequels it’s setting up without even trying to earn its own place on your schedule. If you hadn’t figured it out yet, the movie just annoyed the living pi** out of me, and I was never even that much of a fan of the original. Next please.