Even more lavish in the visual department than the first, at first I worried this would be at the expense of continuing what looked like a really nice story in the first movie. The second part in a trilogy is like the worst kind of second act in a regular movie – you’ve really gotta have something to pass the time. What better surprise, then, could I ask for here than a very well done gender-based body-swapping subplot, lol. Sometimes the humour in this part gets in the way of more poignant matters; sometimes, in fact, I fear it’s lost in translation entirely. But this is still a rip-roaring ride, if only for the visuals, and since there’s 2 years to wait for Twilight Watch, it’s mercifully wrapped up neatly in the end, so neatly in fact that I wonder how the story will continue. Can’t wait to find out, though.

Spoilers below … but not for this movie … if you’re seeing “Wicked” any time soon, best not read the last paragraph.

Though I was really looking forward to seeing this movie, I have to admit I didn’t really know exactly what it’d be. After a year or so of doing so, I still find myself calling myself a Neil Gaiman fan even though I’ve never read a word of his writing outside his blog, lol. This following MirrorMask, Beowulf later this month, and Coraline next year, will surely get me to the books eventually.

When it comes to this type of movie the quality range is vast from The Princess Bride via Shrek through to the abominable Ella Enchanted. I think it was Mark Kermode who preferred to compare this to Time Bandits and I can see that too. But this is really more its own creature. Ultimately it kind of defied everything I expected from what initially appeared to me to be quite a messy opening. There are a lot of different stories here that come together in the end, and though it takes its time, it’s ultimately quite amazing how the screenplay juggles them (could Jonathan Ross be gracing the Oscars next year not as a host and critic but as a nominee’s guest, perhaps?)

The magic and enchantment stuff is … well, magical. It gave me that kind of feeling like when you’re a child and you actually believe in witches and things and when you think about being turned into a toad or whatever, you actually get that sinking feeling in your stomach like it might actually happen. Now, I actually do happen to still believe in a lot of weird impossible things you’re supposed to stop believing in when you’re no longer a child … but not a lot of things give me that stomach feeling – the last thing to do so was the musical “Wicked” when Boq becomes the tin man. I got it tons here, and I was completely absorbed and unquestioning for the whole 2 hours. It’s actually the second movie this week (Once being the other) which I really could happily have watched all over again straight after the end credits.

“Ohhhhhhhhh … Teddy!”

I’d originally intended to watch the three Stuart Gordon movies I have on Halloween in the order in which they were made. Instead, impatient I started with this one tonight, mistakenly thinking it was the first of the bunch. I was going to pretend I hadn’t made that error initially and post the reviews in the “right” order … but now I’ve watched all three, I think maybe it’s a good place to start afterall. I really liked this movie, but was ready to freely admit that it’s got its issues. Now that I’ve seen Re-Animator and From Beyond though? Don’t get me wrong, both of those have their moments too, particularly past their half-way marks. But this almost seems like a masterpiece by comparison now considering it came from the same film makers.

“They’re trying to figure out if you’re really an adult … or just a kid in disguise.”
“I’ve been trying to figure that out for years!”

This is such a different take on the horror genre, and I loved it every turn it took. It’s more in the vein of The Company of Wolves, Paperhouse and (I think?) Dreamchild (lol I really must watch it again soon, I keep making comparisons to it which could be totally off) than the Dolly Dearest or Child’s Play type thing I half-expected. Looking at those first three titles I realise, they all had that same low budget British visual sensibility to them; despite the number of British accents in this movie, it’s not British, not of the same school at all, but it does have the same feel that those movies had, in addition to the same tone (there’s a “wicked stepmother” character in it who very much put me in mind of Hellraiser, too).

The message – a really quite stunningly scathing version of Toy Story 2’s lessons, and in my opinion the reason why a lot of “grown-ups” won’t give this movie the time of day – really took me by surprise. I mean I guess I have to say, my response to this movie ultimately was a pretty personal thing – recently I’ve found myself more and more condensing my every disappointment in the world to one line, “I hate grown-ups,” and this movie couldn’t have put that sentiment better. There, I’ve said it. Seriously, I’m confident these dolls wouldn’t touch me, lol.

It also has a lot more humour in it than expected (“Yeh, but, are they anticues?” lol) Carrie Lorraine isn’t the greatest of actresses but she is adorably cute and delivers Eloise-like lines like, “What do you want from me? I’m 7 years old!” hilariously. She looks like Elijah Wood in a night dress and reminds me of the girl who played the younger Phoebe Cates in Drop Dead Fred.

Though, like the other two Gordon films, it never really gets that scary, there is something a little Birds-ish in the way it develops from this really kooky humour at the start, at which I was laughing right till the end, even as Judy’s father is turned into a replacement for the Punch doll he destroys. But it was somewhere during that scene in particular where I really started to think, wow, this is really wrong. Same thing with the toy soldiers which, out of all the toys, freaked me out the most, looking as they did like Camberwick Green type characters or something.

At barely 75 minutes it runs very much like the vignette-y short stories you’ll find on a lot of transformation-related websites – the mysterious old couple taking the lost family in on a stormy night, messing with their minds and bodies, and sending those who remain off just as the next batch arrive. It’s very cool to find a movie so like those stories, and I for one think there’s definitely room for more. I really can’t wait to watch it again, and at that length, one really needs no excuses.

Watched this for the obvious reason, can’t resist anything with a good gender swap lol. The tagline to this movie (according to the IMDb) read: “The sexual transformation of a man into a woman will actually take place before your very eyes!” which led me to expect something a lot more trashy than what I got. The whole thing is told surprisingly straight – straighter than any other Hammer movie I’ve seen, I think, in fact. The first transformation, when it finally occurs, is fairly mesmerising without being as graphic (pity :-P) as I’d expected, and the subsequent ones are pretty interesting too (like the homage to the classic version of the story with Fredric March, done in a mirror). I like the integration of the Jack the Ripper murders, and the ending is pretty out there too. I’m not sure if I’d bother with it again, but it’s worth watching and better than I expected, I’m still waiting for the movie gender transformation to end all movie gender transformations though

Life-Size is one of those movies that turns out way, way better than its premise. A girl (Lindsay Lohan) badly longing to see her recently-deceased mother finds a rare and unusual spell-book in a weird bookshop and casts a spell to resurrect her: unfortunately, the spell is disrupted by her dad’s new girlfriend who’s trying to win his daughter over with a present, a doll… hey presto, the next morning, the doll is Tyra Banks.

Sounds awful, right? Even to a Lindsay Lohan fan it sounded pretty effing terrible. But aside from the few long scenes that don’t benefit from her presence, I really, really loved this movie, and could even see myself watching it again sometime (a good thing, I guess, since I bought the DVD instead of renting). I thought that, being a TV movie, it would somehow be a lesser performance from Lohan, but there are moments here where she’s better than ever. She plays the lonely young girl dealing with loss perfectly. Tyra Banks is a little annoying at times as the doll come to life but I really loved the character – she’s a little like Buddy in Elf, a product of fantasy harshly confronted with the real world. There are some big laughs and plenty of tears. The ending really got me, and even the corny cast dance-together didn’t bug me as much as such things usually do.

Maybe not one for most people’s DVD collections, but if you want a simple, happy feelgood movie that also lets you have a good cry, plus a great performance by Lindsay Lohan, this is definitely recommended.