“The harder you hit me, the more I know you love me.”

This might be a movie that only gets better the older it gets. I still remember seeing it on the big screen when it first came out, like I vividly remember the stupidest details of the screening like the sound cutting out in the opening credits and my cousin refusing to sit down for practically the whole movie lol. It really made an impression on me and Alisan Porter was one of my first ever movie crushes (I was eleven … it’s kinda ok … that I still find her adorable can be discussed another time lol) It would’ve been the simple slapsticky things that got me there – the finger licking, the second car hit (“Now you really killed him!”), the singing of the national anthem – but I still remember getting severely choked up at the end (that must’ve been an emotional year for me, I just realised – My Girl was also released then).

Watching now, it’s like a whole different movie. There’s stuff in here that I’d never really noticed before, a lot about parenting and responsibility and a girl’s need for a mother no matter how good the father is. Kevin Smith certainly took a lot of cues from it when he made another favourite of mine, Jersey Girl, and I noticed immediately as the film began another thing I always forget, that it was Smith fave John Hughes’ last movie as director. It’s full of massive early-90s clichés (a triple screaming punch scene, thousands of cellphones ringing in a restaurant … “it’s mine!” ... even a shopping montage) but they all now work if anything better than they did back then. Even the Looney Tunes sound effects worked for me this time around. I don’t know, maybe I’m just biased, lol.

The other thing that I really noticed this time around is how perfectly cast either Jim Belushi or Alisan Porter is – I don’t know which was cast first, but they actually look more like father and daughter than any similar onscreen partnership I can think of (thinking of Hayley Mills after the past week’s viewing, even more than The Truth About Spring, say, where John Mills actually played her dad, lol). George Delerue’s score has some scarily immense sadness in it too, even at the joyful end. Also keep an eye out for an early appearance by Steve Carell – I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw him, lol.

Well, as my first exposure to the wonder that is Eloise this time last year, I really came to this with my tongue not only in my cheek but practically threatening to poke a hole in the darn thing, lol. I wound up loving it. And last week I saw at the Plaza and I loved it even more. Second viewing of Christmastime … and I swear this might be my favourite Christmas movie ever. It’s absolutely full of everything I think Christmas should be, highlighted by the scene of Christmas morning itself, Eloise waking Nanny with the trumpet then starting the whole place singing “The Twelve Days of Christmas” in an hilarious contrast to the usual “clear the elevator” scene. It just leaves me absolutely beaming, completely excited about Christmas, even if I’m overexcited about it to begin with, I can’t compare with Eloise. I can only strive my best to be more like her

22nd December, 2006:

... because after over 36 hours without sleep, sometimes the brain can’t take anymore.

But seriously, within about 2 minutes of this movie you’ll know how you’re gonna take it. You can’t be too hard on a movie that warns you in advance. Personally, it told me I was gonna love it. Sofia Vassilieva as Eloise (10 playing 6) is ridiculously natural and completely irresistable, particularly in her random turns to the camera (“Afterall! I’m only six! For Lord’s sake!”); there’s Julie Andrews, Jeffrey Tambor and Christine Baranski in the background … as long as you’re not expecting cinematic innovation of the highest calibre, this is, to use one of my menu options this Christmas, the cinematic equivalent of cheese and pickled onion on a stick. When you glimpse it, if you want it, you’ve got to have it. I wanna be Eloise! Oh, and cute songs too!

Julie Andrews doesn’t succeed entirely slumming it in Cockney but she definitely has a way with children that I doubt anyone else could match. But it’s really all about Eloise, she wouldn’t have it any other way, and some may think that’s a terrible thing and that she’s an awful role model etc, etc, but I don’t care; this is one of those rare movies where I don’t even care about the plot. I couldn’t tell you. She lives in a hotel. It’s fun. It’s, y’know … for kids. And I love it. Any movie that makes me laugh the way I laugh when my cousin Fiona is around is good in my book. So, again, again! claps several times

“And Kleenex makes a very good hat!”

ROFL … okay, I’m done. I’ve decided what I wanna be in my next life if I have a next life. I absolutely must be Eloise, lol. I’m in love with her life. “Think pink! A better way of life!” I may have just been too shocked at the time by how much I loved it to realise just how good Christmastime was when I watched it last year, but I’m pretty sure this first movie is marginally better in all areas (I’ll maybe report back on that since YAY Disney Channel is showing Christmastime again later this month … I’ll be sure to record it this time). Julie Andrews is better as Nanny, that’s for sure, she seems more throaty and bogged down etc … but again, maybe I’m just misremembering Christmastime, like I said it was a shock to the system at the time.

Sofia Vassilieva’s energy is just as infectious as in the other movie, she can’t pass a prop without climbing on it or swinging on it or something. The apparently forthcoming Eloise in Paris won’t be the same without her (though I’m sure I’ll still go gaga over it … I mean … ELOISE … in PARIS … c’mon …) This movie, this world, this girl, it’s just a dream. Completely instant favourite, and I’ll be buying the books ASAP, I’m totally hooked now.

Yurk. You can’t help getting a little excited watching the opening credits of this movie – directed by Chazz Palminteri, a cast including Susan Sarandon, Alan Arkin, Robin Williams, Penelope Cruz, Palminteri himself; score by Alan Menken (the reason it caught my eye in the first place – but when they use that as a selling point on the DVD, I guess I really should’ve known what I was in for, lol), production design by Carol Spier and cinematography by Russell Carpenter. What on earth went wrong?

To be sure, its heart is definitely in the right place … but it’s such a backslapping affair and therapy-like, like a wannabe “Angels in America”. I can imagine the most appreciative audience being those who have already learned its lessons and just sit smug in the knowledge of how gosh darn “together” they are. I personally can’t understand anyone who would want to wallow in this kind of thing at this time of year. Even Alan Menken’s score is gloomily drab. It’s about the most miserable “seasonal” thing I’ve seen outside of the suicidal Christmas Day soaps, in fact. It really ain’t even all that Christmassy, to be honest.

Edit: eep! I hadn’t realised this previously had 4 stars. It’s obviously meant to be 5

Once again I wasn’t sure if I’d have much to add to past reviews, but there’s plenty. I could babble about this one and the adorableness (wow, is that a word? Apple spellcheck didn’t call me on it, lol) of Alicia Morton forever. I love how all my three fave songs (“Maybe”, “Hard Knock” and “Tomorrow”) are squished into the first 15 minutes, I mean they really make it hard on themselves making the bulk of the movie live up to those, and against all odds they absolutely succeed. Just when I worry I might lose interest, some other song I’ve forgotten, some other moment or glance (Annie’s awe at the toys when Daddy Warbucks lifts her onto his shoulders to look through the store window! hehe), happens. As he did for Chicago and (according to the IMDb) the forthcoming Nine (kickass if that’s really happening, btw), Rob Marshall not only directed here but also choreographed it’s one of the best things about the movie – “I’m Gonna Like It Here” and “I Don’t Need Anything But You” are beautifully organised, and in the latter in particular, as in the rest of the movie, Victor Garber and Morton are astonishingly in sync, their chemistry is just heartmelting.

I plan to watch the John Huston version again this Christmas if it’s on TV – I owe it another chance after all these years dedicated to this one – but I really doubt any version, even on stage, will ever match the sheer adorable innocence of this one. Why doesn’t Annie recognise the frickin’ obvious disguise Hannigan dons at the end, miserable IMDb whiners may ask (okay, actually I think I read that elsewhere, but I’m sure someone on the idiot boards have asked that somewhere in time)? Because there isn’t a shred of suspicion in that girl’s heart. It doesn’t mean she’s stupid – it means she’s more human and pure than any of us. Never mind the poetic licence and suspension of disbelief on our part that maybe her disguise could be better than it looks to us who are in on it – it doesn’t matter. Just like none of the cheesy flaws here matter … ‘cos the songs and the girl and the moves are just perfect.

December 5th, 2005:

I know, I should just not review movies I watch when I don’t have much to say beyond “I love it!”, especially when I already have a review as long as the one below, but I just won’t feel right since I watched this again today if I don’t say how I love it one more time. Once again, just look how much water flies in “Hard Knock Life”. When making a movie of a stage show you should always think about what maybe people always wanted to do onstage but couldn’t for technical reasons, and Rob Marshall seems so aware of this. And Alicia Morton …. am I gonna get some stupid hateful and overblown comment here if I sigh over her cuteness? This movie may become a twice/thrice/more yearly thing for me, lol. I’m completely with Rufus Wainwright, who revealed on Paul O’Grady this past week how, when he was a kid, he wanted to be an Annie lol

6th May 2005:

I was kind of worried about coming to review this, thinking I wouldn’t really have much to say about it aside from simply, “Cute as ever, I love it,” which is true, by the way – but I did notice a few things this time round I hadn’t noticed before.

The movie’s shot a lot like the classic, classic Hollywood movies, lots of crane shots etc, and of course, fake NYC backgrounds. I think this aspect of the movie adds a lot to the movie’s charm. It’s certainly a far cry from John Huston’s overblown 1982 version (which I’ll review at another time, but the word that came to mind today was “gaudy”), which is a good thing. It’s ironic that this classical Hollywood visual style makes the television aspect ratio (4:3) almost fitting.

I never noticed before that the vocals in the singing numbers are post-synced (as is often done in these things, but it’s often screwed up too – I’m still dying to see Phantom of the Opera again on DVD to see if the awful sync I experienced in the cinema was “meant” to be there or was just a projection goof). The reason I never noticed before is that it’s done impeccably well, especially when you consider that children are involved, and Alicia Morton is among the best of the syncers.

Annie is one of my favourite musicals and it has at least two of my all-time favourite songs from any genre – “Tomorrow” and “Maybe”. I’ve already mentioned the John Huston movie, but I’ve also seen the show on stage twice. I don’t really remember the first time, but the last, though good (because in my opinion you simply can’t make a truly bad version of Annie), had its problems. The problem with stage versions is the stuff you can’t do easily, and it comes to that old adage, children and animals. It’s really hard to find talented kids and coax a great performance out of them, at the same time as just having that mystical je-ne-sais-quoi that makes any actor or actress simply grab you, and make them do it live several nights at a time … it’s not a surprising problem.

I don’t think I know a single person who would call Aileen Quinn (of the John Huston movie) ‘cute’ or particularly talented – sure she could belt “Tomorrow”, but belting “Tomorrow” is perhaps a thing Annie is more hated for than loved, lol. Alicia Morton is the perfect Annie, though. Her voice is good, but not too good, when she sings she just sounds like a little girl singing. They give her the red hair, but it’s more a shade of red than outright ginger curls. Even in the classic red dress with a slight curl in her hair, it’s never so garish as in previous versions. In close-up, she’s heartbreaking, her eyes are almost like a little puppy’s, just big black pupils pleading, “love me”.

Of the things that were good in the ‘82 version – namely Bernadette Peters, Tim Curry, and Carol Burnett – well, you couldn’t ask for better replacements than Kristin Chenoweth, Alan Cumming and Kathy Bates. You even get Pumbaa as Mr. Bundles. Rob Marshall sneaks some cute visual tricks in too, though considering he followed this with Chicago, you wouldn’t really know it was in him – I personally love the match-cut of Annie running into a cop’s/Miss Hannigan’s arms; and, going back to what I was saying about stuff that’s hard to do on stage, I like that he always does something that would never be done on stage where he can – in “Hard Knock Life” alone, he first covers the floor in water and then ends on a big, feathery pillow fight. This is a movie I’ll still be watching when I’m 90.

This really fell for me into the same place as 3:10 to Yuma. Combine 3:10 with Zodiac, in fact, and you get almost exactly how this one made me feel. It’s perfectly well put together, but it’s procedural to the point of distraction and completely, unnecessarily, overlong.

Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe are mostly fine, but at times they allow the most annoying aspects of their respective personas to slip in in the most annoying ways imaginable – and Crowe’s accent is appalling. They’re both really phoning it in in my opinion compared with past glories.

It has some effective jolts, but honestly, the list of movies I’d recommend over this is endless. But to continue the connection to my Yuma review – I’m again left sorely longing for a Leone movie, Once Upon a Time in America, which covered everything a gangster movie needs to cover, and at nearly 4 hours isn’t remotely unnecessary. The similar story of Brian De Palma’s The Untouchables of course comes to mind too. Failing that, Blow comes to mind. And if you just want another 2007 movie that did the 70s period thing as if not more flawlessly, like I say, look no further than the meticulous David Fincher’s Zodiac ... which I want to see a second time even more after this.

Okay it’s about time I whittled down my slew of brainspew-on-the-page reviews and write something proper on this one, so as of now, those old reviews I wrote with my internal censor entirely bound and gagged are confined to a text file on my desktop – so don’t worry, they haven’t gone for good … but I don’t intend for anyone new to read them.

So let’s start at the beginning. I always tend to say I found “Rent” late, but now I look back and realise I first listened to it only 3 years after Jonathan Larson’s death, I realise, I didn’t do so bad afterall. I became a Renthead for a good year or so courtesy of my first and only true batch (give or take a person or two) of online friends. That line the whole show revolves around, “No Day But Today”, got me at the right time, and I guess that’s where the undeniable brilliance of this movie for me personally starts. It still has that persistent line, and that’s one star out of five you can’t take away from it. Add the use of the original cast where possible and you’ve got your second.

The movie took years to finally happen – I believe they were working on it practically from the day it became a Broadway hit. Spike Lee and Martin Scorsese were attached, they went from an entire, practically devoid of music rewrite to a verbatim reproduction and everything inbetween … it’s amazing even a second of goodness remains let alone the scene upon scene that does, so there’s your third immovable star right there. It finally landed in the hands of Chris Columbus, who did a good job of the first two by-the-numbers Harry Potter movies. Sure those first two movies lacked the cinematic adventure of the subsequent productions (actually, I’d argue that only Azkaban fit that description, the last was quite messy by comparison), but they were undeniably faithful to source.

Anyway, it’s the same situation here: though often the movie lacks the punch of its source, the times when it is heartbreakingly faithful are more impeccably done than anyone could’ve expected. Though whole chunks of music have been stripped away, more often than not it is entirely made up for by what follows or preceeds the breach. For example, I don’t like the fact that “Goodbye Love” has been taken away (even though it’s one of the few removals they did film, and is available on the DVD and soundtrack) ... but the use of that song’s music as underscore during the “Search for Mimi” montage is almost equally indispensable. In the same way, I don’t like the restaging of certain scenes – Tango Maureen turning into Tango Roxanne from Moulin Rouge, and the entirely incomprehensible staging of “Take Me Or Leave Me” being the main offenders – but it’s always made up for. Mimi leaves Roger as she sings the last part of “Another Day”, but I loved her desperation as she sung that into his face when I saw it onstage … here, though, the image of Angel, Collins, and Mark coming round the corner behind her is just as indelible.

In the end, as my old reviews fleshed out, there are a lot of things wrong with this movie, and I can entirely understand why newcomers in particular could be turned off quickly, and this annoys me no end; the movie pretty much failed to make the show any new fans, so why did they attempt to change it at all for the big screen? The point is, yes, it’s flawed; but it’s so consistent in its style, that beautiful rusty colour scheme making every single frame undeniably RENT, they brought back a good 2/3rds of the original cast, people who knew Larson, who really knew the show better than any of us will, and those standalone scenes like “I’ll Cover You” on the street and “Sante Fe” on the subway – in the end, no matter how much this movie infuriates me, even if it catches me in the worst of moods … I can never say that it’s less than a masterpiece, and I hope that everyone who ever needs exactly what it offers will find it like I did all those years ago.

Okay, I’ll admit, that still got away from me a little, but it’s better than what preceeded it lol. What can I say, this movie sends me into a tizzy. Oh … and I still seriously think the one thing that could’ve made the movie better would’ve been a tiny glimpse of Larson in that end montage, à la Douglas Adams in the H2G2 movie.

I’m sure my opinion will lose a lot of respect when I say this (lol like it has a lot to lose) ... but this is now one of my ten favourite movies ever, and it damn near tops the bunch. There’s just so much in this movie that hits me in the places I want movies to hit me. The Dakota tea-cup ride scenes hit me in a really personal place so hard, that look on her face that’s just like, typical, one week early to ride, pulling the glasses down over her eyes so Brittany Murphy can’t see her tearing up; and later when they finally ride it, both of them working out years of frustration on the wheel and each other; and like, I guess I can’t deny that where I am in life right now makes the whole “grow up” theme resonate deeper too, Murphy’s response to somebody telling her, “But this isn’t you!” – “I can’t afford ‘me’ anymore …”.

I can understand why a lot of people will put this movie down before they even see it, and I can understand why not a lot of people will consider it anything more than a bit of fluff to pass the time – but I can’t understand how anyone could see it and say the amount of bad things that have been said about it … I mean, I can’t believe how I gave it only 3 stars on my first viewing, I can’t believe it didn’t get me in the way it got me today. And the finale … it just doesn’t get better than Dakota letting her hair down and leading a ballet troupe armed with electric guitars.

April 2nd, 2005:

I love how nearly all Dakota Fanning movies seem to have come from some kind of story meeting where someone goes, “Okay, she’s an amazing actress… but she’s 11… who’re we gonna put with her? I know, she’s gonna need some-one to look after her – she’s a kid, afterall… but who?” So we have a giant talking cat, a psychotic killer, a hitman, a mentally retarded man, and here, a spoiled bitch. I may just steal this system when I run dry of ideas for my own screenplays, lol…

Once again Brittany Murphy makes her character 800x more sympathetic than she probably deserves (see last year’s Little Black Book, which I loved), and once again Dakota Fanning steals the movie.

Watching it reminded me of last year’s Raising Helen. Boaz Yakin is an interesting director, lots of visual ideas à la Bronwyn Hughes (Forces of Nature, Harriet the Spy). There’s a neat continuing idea about the spinning tea-cup ride at Coney Island, one beautiful image where Dakota is just staring at it; and in the final ballet recital scene, loads of little ballerinas carrying electric guitars.