Posts Tagged ‘nudity’

Eastern Promises

Eastern Promises

Thursday, December 6th, 2007

Hmm. Like American Gangster and 3:10 to Yuma before it this year, I can’t help feeling disappointed here. From the director of Crash, A History of Violence, the writer of Dirty Pretty Things, and the exuberent praise of Mark Kermode, I’ve gotta say I really expected more from this. A second viewing might prove me wrong, but I haven’t even got round to a second viewing of “History” and I still know that movie was better – most particular in the visuals department. London just looks drab here, and not in any kind of way that it’s pertinent to the plot. Just about everybody involved here has done better work, and even the already infamous steam room scene isn’t that impressive. At 90 minutes I’m bound to watch it again before Oscar time, particularly if it’s nominated for anything … though that would really surprise me.



The Cheerleaders

The Cheerleaders

Tuesday, December 4th, 2007

Move aside, Porky’s, lol. This deserves praise for doing pretty much exactly what it says on the tin, to a staggering degree, right from the opening credits. The uniforms, the lettering on the credits, the song, and then … skin … vast quantities of female flesh.

It’s porn cheese city, and there’s very little more to say about it. Like, it’s so much just a porn movie that I found myself considering whether I would even count it as a movie and write about it here. But it has to be said, it’s got something of a story (albeit it most of it rushed through in the last 15 minutes), it’s better shot than most porn I’ve seen, and it has a slight bit of tongue in cheek. Some of the exercise equipment stuff is just inspired.

I just really dug the simplicity and innocence (for want of a better word) of it all. Like Slumber Party Massacre without the massacre or something. It’s probably very exploitative and caters to highly prurient interests (at one point one of the girls dresses in the clothes of her teddy bear, clothes she got when she was 12) … but I guess I just wanna say, “whatever” to that lol. I found it simple, sexy, and hilarious. Almost instantly a cheesy fave of mine.



Futurama: Bender’s Big Score

Futurama: Bender’s Big Score

Tuesday, November 20th, 2007

“What’s the secret of time travel doing on Fry’s ass?!”
“It was bound to be somewhere …”

Sometimes it’s surprising how pleased you find yourself to see something again, and this was certainly such a case for me. This straight-to-DVD feature is absolutely a fans-only affair, right from the opening almost entirely dedicated to gags on the whole “cancelled” situation. I don’t think there was a second here I wasn’t either laughing out loud or just beaming with some kind of nostalgia.

There really isn’t a lot for me to say that won’t be either preaching to those who are already gonna buy it anyway or plain make me sound dumb since I’m not a massive Futurama fan to begin with. It still bears the hallmarks and flaws of other animated TV-to-movie switchers, though it mostly avoids feeling too much like 4 episodes strung together and certainly has more fun with the time travel thing than 2005’s Family Guy movie. I laughed a lot more than expected (“I thought you were happy! Your tail was wagging!”), and honestly, the twist at the end is one of the most surprisingly moving things I’ve seen in a movie this year – in the context of Futurama, it’s up there with the last episode, that stuff with the flute, I forget the details except how beautiful I found it at the time. It really got me so much I was almost inclined to give this 5 stars. It’s definitely close for me. There’s even a massive festive element in the second half – making me kinda wish I’d saved this for my Christmas viewing, hehe … but maybe I’ll watch it again that soon anyway :)



Carrie [1976]

Carrie [1976]

Monday, October 29th, 2007

The most tragically beautiful horror movie ever made? I think so. That said, I find the more I watch it, the less it even feels like a horror movie and more like the saddest, most painful high school movie that just happens to be punctuated by blood and the supernatural. The only part that always really chills me is Piper Laurie’s eerily joyous performance, and the piano theme that plays at the White house (currently on the playlist on my front page radio thing), most particularly when Carrie falls down the stairs. That music cue just feels completely like death – or rather, the draining of life.

Piper Laurie and Sissy Spacek were deservedly (if bizarrely – would it happen today, one wonders?) nominated for Oscars for their roles. I’m always just as taken by other performances, though: Amy Irving and Betty Buckley are particularly noteworthy. I love the way Buckley imbues Miss Collins with this real bug up her ass – I forget if her backstory is detailed in the novel, and I know she tells the story toward the end about taking the leader of the basketball team to her prom but I’m always torn between whether she was the Sue Snell of her time – a reluctant “popular girl” who sympathised with the Carrie Whites – or even worse the Carrie White of her time. There’s a real sense of triumph as she watches Carrie crowned as prom queen; of hope when she talks to Carrie about Tommy’s invitation; an instant confrontational attitude when she talks to the “popular” girls; instant doubt when asking Tommy and Sue about the illfated invitation. Intended or not, she does the all-grown-up bullied girl very well.

Then there’s the music. Pino Donaggio’s themes (far-too-obvious Psycho references notwithstanding, lol) – in addition to the two beautiful songs at the prom (“I Never Dreamed Someone Like You Could Love Someone Like Me” probably the best love song ever) are almost if not more than half the movie for me here. They carry you with Carrie to the depths with her mother at home and the horror of school to the tentative acceptance of the dream of having that final prom dance – and then the nightmare aftermath of even that seemingly impervious dream being shattered like all the rest.

BTW, the DVD of this is much better than I originally thought whenever it first came out. There are no commentaries or anything and the features list reads like just a bunch of promotional featurettes – but the “Acting Carrie” thing combined with “Visualising Carrie: From Words to Images” is really more like a decent behind-the-scenes documentary. Unfortunately it doesn’t actually contain the screentests they talk about … but it’s still really good hearing from most of the cast members years later.



Orgy of the Dead

Orgy of the Dead

Thursday, October 11th, 2007

Boooooohhhhh-bies! LOL This one has to be seen to be believed. I actually watched it because any movie from 1965 with a title like that has got to be of some kind of interest. What I hadn’t realised was that not only is it from a screenplay by Edward D. Wood (adapted from his own novel – one can only imagine what text is left when you take the tits out lol – literally, the story is: sexy dead chicks dance in a graveyard wearing nought but t-strings), but it also stars the actual Criswell.

If, like me, you pretty much first heard of Ed Wood via Tim Burton’s movie, this should certainly hold some fleeting interest factor. But let’s not beat about the bush (so to speak, there’s none to see here, that’s for sure – small mercy) … really it’s just soft porn. But as such, I’ll be honest, I found it actually quite effective – you’ve got to admire the fact that this is one movie that actually delivers on its promise of flesh (the tagline apparently being, “A masterpiece of erotic horror!” something with which I find it hard to argue). You actually get to dwell on the occasional body part – mostly, astonishingly wobbly Sixties breasts … I sure hope this one wasn’t financed by the Baptists, lol! – for a good while longer than Hammer or Carry On movies ever let you :P

If there’s a problem it’s that all of this is narrated by, well … Criswell … who kind of saps any semblance of sexiness conjured by what’s on display, lol. Let’s just say I’m glad I didn’t save it for the Halloween marathon. But there is definitely just a little something here that even 40 years on feels that kinky kind of wrong, naughty, hypnotic and, well, just a little sexy – even if it’s simply the fact that Criswell is at turns so dirty-old-man-ish that he totally absolves the audience of the usual guilt that comes with staring at boobs for the sake of boobs, lol. But I’m a horny little devil, so what do I know?



Innocence [2004]

Innocence [2004]

Monday, September 17th, 2007

I have to admit, I pretty much watched this without subtitles – my DVD player decided only a handful of lines needed translating, lol – so, armed with my creaky French, even though it’s mostly pre-adolescent girls talking or teachers talking to them (which you’d think would make it easier), it was maybe a slightly more confusing experience than necessary, and the last thing I expected this movie to be was confusing at all let alone because of the language barrier. Anyway, it’s in these situations when you actually notice a movie is, as is the case here, quite amazingly devoid of dialogue. One could sit for hours I’m sure dissecting what this movie “means”, what its images mean, etc – but really what it comes down to is the imagery, and when it comes to that, this one is really beyond compare.

I was struck immediately by the admittedly slightly obvious but perfectly effective opening of the violent noise, both visual and aural, that lies beneath an innocent looking stream … hmmm wonder what that means, huh? Follow that with a shot of five or six little girls gathering around a coffin from which another girl emerges, well, needless-to-say, I wasn’t gonna wait around for my subtitles. For its images and atmosphere alone, this is an instant favourite.

There’s one shot in particular of the girls playing randomly in the woods – some are swinging in trees, some skipping, some with hula-hoops, and the camera just drifts among them with such careless ease you’d be forgiven for thinking, as I’d say applies almost to the whole film, that you dreamt it. It reminded me of the way Picnic at Hanging Rock always appears in my memory.

Though I can’t say if it was merely to do with my missing the odd essential piece of dialogue, my attention did slip a little in the second half – I kinda wondered where the “lead”, the youngest girl, had got to during the whole theatre sequence. But it all came together in the end, and the final scene in the fountain is just shiver-inducingly striking. Literally, story aside, this is a beautiful, sad, strange experience worthy of anyone’s 2 hours. Do I need to warn that there are bare little girls’ chests and gasp a bottom or two in it? Probably. I have to admit, I had a lot of fun reading some of the IMDb comments for this one :)