“Hearts will never be made practical until they are made unbreakable.”

It truly is the happiest film ever made. And perfect to boot, like, literally, perfect, so much so that I don’t feel I need to say a lot more than that. I was really drawn to the sheer number of immediately identifiable icons in the movie this zillionth time watching it – it’s something I’ve really started to be interested in in a lot of movies recently: like just those props and simple images you can remove entirely from their context in the movie and yet their association is so indelible that pretty much anyone will know the movie from them. The gingham dress, the ruby slippers, the green-faced witch, a witch in a bubble, another under a house, the poppy field, the Emerald City, the yellow brick road, the red sand hourglass – and of course the scarecrow, tin man and lion. Any one of these things captures the imagination enough in itself. To put them altogether in one ninety minute swoop with the songs and the simply perfectly cast Judy Garland tying it all together is for me to practically bottle everything it means to dream.

For me it mostly comes down to those last scenes; the wizard declaring, “No I’m not a bad man – just a bad wizard,” bestowing the gifts upon Dorothy’s friends at the same time really highlighting the worthlessness of the societal things that package us like diplomas, medals and testimonials, in turn proffering the slightly cheesy but no less truthful notion that it really is just who we are that counts; and of course, “Oh Auntie Em … There’s No Place Like Home,” that swell of music that never fails to make me cry my eyes out.

Yes, I guess it comes to the same almost dreary happiness in its close that I hated in Enchanted – “But that’s so easy!” the Tin Man even declares when Glinda reveals to Dorothy the means to get home – but it’s the way it elevates that normality to something fantastic, never dismissing the wonder of imaginary Oz (if it is imaginary at all, I feel the urge to add) in the process. I was reminded of that wonderful line at the end of the last Harry Potter book, “Of course it’s all happening in your head … but why on earth should that mean it isn’t real?” I’m babbling and I’ve done too much of that lately. It’s just a perfect movie, okay?

“I’m only 6.”
“You won’t always be.”

I’ve waited far too long to see this one and the longer I waited and the more excited I got about it, the more scared I got of how I’d react to it. That signpost quote above as to where the movie might be going told me that this dread wasn’t going to let up until the very closing scene. That it started up so much like the glorious Elf (which I’m amazed doesn’t dominate most reviews, btw, so glaring are the similarities) gave me hope … but egh, let’s just start with that beginning animation, shall we?

At one point Patrick Dempsey (as a quite typically joyless New York single father man man) tells Amy Adams (as the angerless Disney Princess Giselle recently transformed into a human in a very rushed set-up), “It’s like you escaped from a Hallmark card or something,” – and that’s what the animation at the start here resembles more to me than the classic Disney style one would think they were trying to emulate.

It amazes me that so many people have felt nostalgia for the classics watching these early scenes; have they even watched them since they were 6? It’s like the years of producing second-rate sequels (don’t get me wrong, some of them are good as I’ve said time and again; but notice how few of them feature human characters …) have blurred the old style out of the animators’ muscle memory. The animated opening feels more like another studio, like Fox or Dreamworks, doing a very corny and tired mickey-take of everything everybody always thinks is “wrong” with the old Disney animations. If this is what Disney animations would look like were they still producing theatrical hand-drawn pictures, then I’m honestly kinda glad they stopped.

Though I’ve always jokingly said, “It’s all Disney’s fault,” when it comes to the subject of depression and woes of the world etc; I did it only last week, in fact, watching a show about self-help books – like, Disney told a whole generation, or two, or even three, that “dreams came true if you follow your heart” and, yes, in most cases that’s just not true and such lofty ideals can lead to crushing disappointment. Don’t even get me started on, “what if the dreams your heart contains don’t fit society’s pre-ordained plan for your demographic?”

But more recently, I’ve gotta say, I’ve started to believe even more that the failing is really just in people at large following the same rules and making the same mistakes that society jokingly excuses as the unavoidable norm. That old thing that we’re beautiful and perfect little children and then we grow up and that there’s no reclaiming innocence once it’s lost so you might as well just accept misery as a fact of life. I no longer buy it – humans are much more capable than that if – like a better movie Bridge To Terabithia, which I watched for the umpteenth time just last night, says – they just keep their mind open. The moment where Giselle fails to sing back to the Prince here made me feel like I was dying inside because the movie was suddenly taking just exactly that horrible turn I’d feared from the start. It’s amazing to me that a movie like this takes such a stance while even a movie like The Diving Bell and the Butterfly is the one praising the power of the imagination to overpower every sad restraint the world can impose on us.

Enchanted certainly has its moments. I can’t deny Amy Adams’ wondrousness, even though it all gets mostly stripped away in the end; like my mum gasped, “she looks so … ordinary ...”; Giselle seems “happy enough” as do Morgan and Robert in the end. But, and I apologise to those who will surely think I’m overthinking this and desperately looking for a problem, for me it’s all just too real; dare I say even, too “mature”. Do we really want Disney suggesting that “happy enough might be as good as it gets” as someone said in that show I mentioned earlier? Like the opening animation, it all just feels horribly revisionist (not “delightfully” so as one review I’ve read put it): like Disney is “correcting” things that other people told it were mistakes in its past work. Nothing needed revising here; the girl saving the day isn’t a challenging surprise anymore in 2007 … at least, it shouldn’t be. Disney really shouldn’t be so ashamed of their dreaming in the past, and I’m worried they may have ruined their whole catalogue of classics for the current generation of children exposed to this cynical ribbing of the formula.

I’m sure others will think the exact opposite; that this approach is probably a good thing; and I guess they’re probably right, since in the world as it is, it probably, unfortunately, is the most lucrative option. Me, I’ll follow Idina Menzel and the Prince back down the manhole anyday, thanks kindly. Honestly I wish the movie could’ve convinced me that “getting real” was a thing worth doing … but personally I wanted to be more, I don’t know, enchanted? Was that a weird thing to expect given the title? Now I have to wait 20 years for a Girl on the Bridge type sequel. Let’s call it “Disenchanted” ... wherein Idina and the Prince come back from Andalasia just in time to rescue poor Morgan about to jump off the Empire State such woe is future modern life. Can we please start telling our children they can change this nightmare instead of just training them to put up with it? A credit card as fairy godmother? It’s a cute gag, and I laughed, so great is Rachel Covey’s delivery … but thinking back on it, I find it deeply troubling.

I was sure I already had a review of this so this might end up a little on the short side. I’m pretty sure I’ve said something about Erzsebet Foldi before, that’s why I thought I’d reviewed it already … ‘cos what I thought I’d written was, how is this movie the only thing she was ever in?! An amazing dancer, beautiful to behold, so natural before the camera, and perfectly cast as Scheider’s loving, precious, brotherless, generous (“underlined 3 times” lol) daughter … yet this is her only film credit, it’s incredible.

Anyway, clearly the reason I watched this this weekend is due to the sad passing of Roy Scheider this past week. Of course, at 76, he had a great innings – certainly better than Bob Fosse, who he basically portrays here – but it still saddened me to hear of it. This movie already had resonance outside of its surface appearance due to just how much Fosse put himself into it. Now – at least, this week, I find it serves as a perfect farewell to Scheider. It struck me during the last scene how it might strike some as a tad tasteless to watch it at such a time, ‘cos I know there are a lot of people who prefer death be confined to grave grief, black suits, hearses and mourning; but I think it’s perfect in its attitude to death … that celebration scene of “Bye Bye Life” countered so slapfaced by the snapback to “the only reality” at the end, the body bag being zipped up.

You can see Scheider’s Gideon so many ways – ego is always mentioned in reviews of the movie; it’s easy to sense he has no self-awareness, doesn’t know what he’s doing or who he’s hurting etc. I think he has total self-awareness; he just doesn’t care. And to me the film’s biggest comment is: why should he, when death is so inevitable? It’s a kind of Fight Club / American Beauty type message, as dangerous as it is profound. I still don’t know what to make of these movies entirely, some days I love them and some days I realise what an ass I am to love them so; I know that when I’m watching they are fun though; that Scheider’s performance is incredible; that the song and dance numbers start brilliant and only get better as the movie goes on; that we’re lucky to even have one movie featuring Erzsebet Foldi; and that anything that can make me get in such a twist reviewing is pretty much always worthy of 5 hearts.

I had a feeling this would be better a second time, but I don’t know where to begin describing the sensation I felt walking home today. Sometimes, just sometimes, it’s really worth seeing a movie on the largest screen you can find. I’m sure that’s the opposite of what I’ve said elsewhere but hey, I’m saying it.

I had my eyes on Johnny Depp for pretty much the whole movie this time – projected larger than life his performance is even more outstanding than I’d first thought, and though I’d pretty much been swung over to the Daniel Day Lewis camp earlier today seeing some clips from There Will Be Blood, I couldn’t have swung back harder or faster. It’s not just the singing and the face and the accent; what captivated me more than anything here were the full-length shots of Johnny … the way he walks and carries himself, he’s like a silent movie star, it’s all Sweeney and though he’s on the screen almost constantly, I wanted even more of him just standing, brooding.

On occasion my gaze did shift, though, to the other actors; particularly Helena Bonham-Carter, who is also much better than I’d previously thought … watching her just through the “Not While I’m Around” scene, right up to her closing the door on Toby in the bakehouse, is just about as mesmerising and gutwrenching as watching Depp for the rest of the film’s duration.

It is slightly more violent than I’d perceived the first time around (though I’d still stand by what I said about the BBFC – and I was glad to hear Mark Kermode saying much the same a couple of weeks ago on Five Live), but as many have said already, it borders about as much on the ridiculously comic as it’s possible to do without veering completely into nonsense and making a mockery of the rest of the drama; the roll-on effect being that when those crucial deaths occur in the final act, your focus is entirely on the higher meaning of the deaths, and about as far removed from the shower of blood as I think has ever been seen in such a bloody movie.

I didn’t spot Anthony Head’s brief appearance the first time either – it’s truly blink and you’ll miss it, lol. I think he was originally to be one of those who sang “The Ballad of Sweeney Todd” – which I guess I also want to mention again. I’ve grown to love this exclusion – it’s beautiful as underscore and really, as I said in the earlier review, I missed “Kiss Me” much more than anything else. And even that exclusion is still a minor drawback, which along with the slightly hokey, “That’s all very well …” line following “Epiphany” (it’s in the trailer too), is far from enough to counter the fact that this movie is really, quite jawdroppingly, perfect.

7th January, 2008:

NB. I’ve decided to post this now, it’s been sort of hanging back till I see it “properly” ‘cos, as with Rent, my opinion after a first watch felt very muddled but having listened to the soundtrack again the other night, I remembered the one reason I think it really is as good as I wanted it to be and that’s that, basically, it reaches that same crushingly beautiful hollow in the end that I remember from the first time I saw the show / listened to the cast recordings / whatever. I can’t wait to see it again, definitely a birthday present to look forward to
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I can’t begin this review without pointing out how ultimately I couldn’t help but approach it on a first viewing the same way I did the Rent movie. It felt almost like a chore, like, I almost just wanted to get the watching of it “out of the way” so I could watch it again if that makes any sense. I wanted to know what was missing, what was new, what was changed, etc, so I could amend my perspective or whatever to get the most out of it. Subsequent viewings of movies like this will always be more enjoyable than the first for me – I don’t like unpleasant surprises much Not that there are many here, I hasten to add (the clue is in the star rating if I start to sound like I was disappointed).

I guess I’m surprised now having seen it how universal the praise has been. It’s by no means as conventional an adaptation as they could’ve made it, and the cuts are just as unexpected (“Green Finch and Linnet Bird”, to my joy, remains; while “The Ballad” is used only for instrumental underscore). I love how young Toby is now and Ed Sanders, who plays him, is incredible in the part. And while I’m on the supporting cast I may as well mention Sacha Baron Cohen as Pirelli … even more perfect than I imagined he’d be.

Then there’s the gore. I’m baffled and a little annoyed by having just read that it has been rated ‘18’ here in the UK. To me it makes little sense – even if it’d actually been as violent as I’d been led to expect (which it isn’t) ... there is no sex (even the beggar woman’s bawdy taunts are gone – though they’re there on the soundtrack …), no bad language (*edit*: okay, the “s” word but that’s still PG material …), nothing but blood here for the BBFC to be offended by. And though the ‘18’ certificate isn’t quite the kiss of death the NC-17 rating is in the US, I still think that stopping under-18s from seeing a movie like this … I mean it’s Sondheim for heck’s sake … it sends out the wrong message entirely about what the BBFC’s purpose is. I hope a few councils think to overrule it and let a few school trips get in or something.

Of course, I can’t end this review without mentioning Johnny Depp I’d seen bits and pieces of the performance and couldn’t resist sneaking a few tracks of the soundtrack prior to watching the movie, and I knew that the gruff bellowing rage of George Hearn etc was pretty much gone, replaced with Depp’s beautiful but admittedly thin voice. In the context of the whole product, though, there’s far more surprises in his singing than I expected. He actually does come close to the roar of the stage Sweeneys in places, and when he holds the soaring, swooping higher notes, especially alongside Alan Rickman on “Pretty Women”, it’s absolute heaven. The harmonising on the part of the other actors is really impressive too.

See, kind of a flat review and I’m afraid I might sound like I was slightly bored by the movie. Like I said, it was the first look. My anticipation for this movie was massive, I pretty much knew how much I was going to love it. It’s been like a present sitting under the Christmas tree, like I know what it is, I really want it, and now I’ve opened it I’m just looking forward to playing with it again later. If that makes any sense, lol.

One thing I will say is that despite all the buzz etc, and I’ll be continuing my little corner of support for it, I’d be astonished if this was nominated for a lot of Oscars let alone winning any – I keep seeing other hopefuls and just about everytime I find another category I feel Sweeney will be shut out of … even Johnny in the end. It just really doesn’t strike me as that kind of movie, not from any angle I look at it, and there are so many other movies that, no matter what I think, are gonna get a hell of a lot more votes. Like I said – don’t get me wrong, I love it – I’m just kinda surprised that so many other people do too. It seems so grey and grim to me to be getting such love as it is. I feel like they could’ve used the crossover aspects better – the Sondheim fans, the Johnny fans, the gore hounds – they could’ve made it 2 and a half hours, they could’ve really used the Johnnyness, and despite what people are saying .. it could be gorier.

Yes – I’m giving it 5 stars, it’s at the top of my 2007 list, and I’m sitting here saying it could’ve been better, lol. But, like Rent was still “Rent”, y’know: it’s still “Sweeney Todd”. It might not be as definitive a version of the show as I’d hoped for – it feels a little too fast in places jumping from scene to scene (“Kiss Me” would’ve been a particularly helpful inclusion I think towards the end) but it still knocks the socks off anything else seen in the past year. All I can think could be the reason for its success is the thought of those who have never seen or heard of Sweeney Todd. When I think of those people, I almost literally turn green with envy. I guess going into this movie that way, as perhaps many have … that would be a pretty astonishing experience … which is exactly why I’ll be taking the family for my birthday “thing” in February

“If only we were among friends! Or … sane persons!”

What a way to start the year this is (okay I watched Hot Fuzz again before it, but didn’t have much to add to the old review, though it did rise significantly up the 2007 list). I don’t think it had ever really occurred to me before, so thanks I guess to ITV for putting it on early yesterday morning

The lyrics are even more incredible than I remember – this is a guy really loving words, like it’s more often than not the sound of the words taking precedence way over any meaning – “I’ll tell you once, I’ll tell you twice / You better wise up, Janet Weiss.” “You’re as sensual as a pencil.” It almost reminds of Tim Rice at his most fun (I know, different people might take that comparison differently; for the record, I love Tim Rice, this is a positive thing I’m saying).

What struck me too on this viewing is how surprisingly clean the movie is. On the sex front it’s as tame as a pantomime, it’s all implied though if you’ve got any hormones whatsoever I’d be shocked if you weren’t turned on at some point – I personally find it just about the sexiest film ever, like, even Tim Curry is somehow a turn-on lol. There’s the fairly shockingly gruesome killing of Eddie but even that’s more in the sound mix than anything else. I guess if you’re offended by words like “transvestite” and “transexual” it might hurt a bit, but really it’s not even as crazy as I thought it was. It only really strikes one as so utterly subversive etc when you’re able to recognise all the symbolism in it like the rainbow colours and the triangle on Frank N Furter’s medical tunic etc.

“It’s not easy having a good time. Even smiling makes my face ache.”

Ultimately it’s how the ridiculousness of it all just builds and builds (I still remember how much I lost it the first time I watched it that moment when Riff-Raff and Magenta burst in in their alien regalia, lol) only to be cut through by the key line of the whole thing, “Don’t dream it, be it,” and then to cap it all the King Kong reference with Rocky climbing the RKO tower.

I don’t know, sometimes I think I take these things a little too serious considering they are at their core just a little kind of homage or spoof, but, y’know, I always let my heart make the final decision when it comes to movies, and the “Don’t dream it, be it,” and the RKO thing … they really make this movie for me, it’s not just a weird cult entertainment for me, it actually means something. I watched it for the first time almost 10 years ago and if I said it wasn’t at least partly responsible for the things I’ve gradually learned to accept about myself in the years since, may I be struck down for such a giant lie. You can take that last sentence however you want ‘cos I’m still a little averse to being specific. This movie just says how wonderful it is to be yourself and though it almost sounds ridiculous, to not be afraid of things that are pleasing to you. There is simply no better message for a movie to have. If it feels good, why knock it? We badly need another movie like this for today, pronto. I’ll keep my personal detailed ideas on that notion to myself for now

I guess the one thing that surprised me most here was how non girly it was. The last comment I saw on the IMDb was like this feminist tract “in defense of girl movies” assuming that all penis-bearers are fatally averse to seeing anything that didn’t portray women as nothing but sex on a stick, which obviously peeved me just a little. This movie contains a song called “Femininity” and that makes it even more astonishing how level-headed it is on the gender divide. And, like I even need to say it, it’s all thanks to Hayley Mills. There’s a wonderful scene where she starts a game of croquet with a young couple and wins it, but only because the young couple clearly have other things to do. “I won!” she yelps after them, then, seeing them off disappearing into the crowd, “I won?” I personally found it more about growing up – or not – than anything else. It’s just light Disney live-action, what else is there to say? All I really feel like repeating is, after Evening – trust me – this is most certainly not girly.

Again, this was a Christmas Eve viewing hence I’ll take the opportunity to say here, and this applies for everything over the next few days, expect even more inconsistency, weirdness, and nonsense than usual

Okay, an apology may be necessary. ‘Cos I’ve whined about this version of the musical just about every time I mention it, but though I cringed as soon as the credits started here, by the time it got half way through “Hard Knock Life” I was practically swooning over it. And no matter how much I’ve grown to like the substitution, “only” definitely still works better than “always” in “Tomorrow” for me.

But all the while I was waiting for the end, which I knew was where it went awry. The family were talking about it as it was on and my mum was saying how she was sure she’d seen it before without a lot of the “gumf”, as I’d call it – and looking at the IMDb I see there’s a 90 minute cut that was made for US TV. I’d kinda love to see that cut. I still think the helicopter action etc is a bit much and it reminds me a lot of the overly dramatic second act of The Sound of Music which I also find unnecessary. “Annie” just ain’t that big a show, and the Disney remake understood that.

But, for the record, Aileen Quinn is not so garish as I’d thought all these years. I was surprised by how many of the costumes and designs etc. match up between the two versions, and of course the Depression look here is better than anything a 90s TV production could muster. I love the girl who plays Molly, I love Tim Curry, Bernadette Peters, Carol Burnett and Albert Finney, of course. This is one case where I will say, it just about gets over the overlong problem with the sheer wondrousness of its basis.

Yikes. Remind me what made me think I’d love this again? Oh yeh – Kenneth Branagh + Stephen Fry with the look of old Ken Russell. Unfortunately I’d forgotten that this type of music on non-stop for 2 hours just makes want to tear my skin off and escape, Fry libretto or no. You’d think that with all the tricks Branagh pulls in bringing this thing to the big screen – I’ll admit, it’s visually stunning – not to mention employing such a clear-headed wit as Fry to translate/interpret/whatever the lyrics, the story might come across much clearer for those of us who hold that as one of the major reasons to avoid opera. Sadly, I’m still no wiser as to what the hell this is about – and worse, even though it’s all in the English language, thanks to the singing style, you still can’t understand half the lines. They even break the flow at certain points with spoken dialogue which I found just added insult to injury.

It’s possible I just wasn’t in the mood for this today, and a second viewing could certainly do it favours. But I really don’t know when I’ll find the time to venture there again. It looks and sounds wonderful, but I really found it otherwise all over the place.