“An 8 year old boy’s footprint is found next to those of a wolf. Was the wolf stalking the boy, were they walking as friends? Or were they walking thousands of years apart? We just don’t know…”

Two years ago I went to Paris for three days and on one of those days I went first to the lowest point of the city – its catacombs – and, as the sun set, to its highest point – the top of Montparnasse tower. It was a glorious experience, and it was only as I lay in my bed at the end of the day, full of champagne, that I made the poetic (or pathetic, depending on your outlook) observation that it was as if I’d been to heaven and hell in one 24 hour period, so harsh was the contrast between the two realms.

Werner Herzog makes no apologies for seeing this kind of epic, spiritual, poetic (or pathetic, see above) drama at every turn of this new documentary that takes us to a remote network of caves in France where the oldest known paintings in the world – over 30,000 years (take that, Creationists – sorry, but I’ve been listening to Richard Dawkins this weekend, lol) old – were discovered. The caves are so delicately preserved that his time is limited – his crew is limited – the freedom of his camera is restricted – even the amount of light they are allowed to use to illuminate their subject is rationed.

The limitations show. The resolution varies vastly, and at times the 3D frankly looks worryingly, badly post-converted. I have to say, it’s almost always forgivable due to the fact that the images – for example, one of the worst-looking pieces of footage, of the “dark side” of a hanging rock pendant, where one of the earliest depictions of the human form is to be found – are either going to be seen like this or not at all. And when the 3D and resolution conspire to do their best, the effect is that of total immersion… only the smell is really missing (at one stage it’s suggested they may recreate the caves as a “theme park” in the near future, complete with a replication of the smell… maybe they can pump that smell, once created, into future screenings of the movie, or provide a small vial of essence with the blu-ray package? lol)

Towards the end, I have to say, it kind of takes on a truly peculiar trajectory, with a bizarre host of characters miles away in Germany finding not paintings but sculptures and musical instruments believed to be from the same time and place (well, they were closer to being in the same place at the time, that is…). There’s an experimental archeologist dressed as an Inuit, playing the Star-Spangled banner on a primitive flute, and a fascinating perfumer sniffing around the rocks. There’s a certain urge to laugh like a schoolboy at some of these people, contrasted as they are to Herzog’s super-reverent approach – but mostly, this urge for me was completely trumped by the infectious enthusiasm for their subject they radiate.

Herzog tags on an epilogue which is so further disconnected from the initial subject matter that it’s equally easy to dismiss, but it fits Herzog’s flighty (albehe so sinister in tone) personality. At one stage he’s interviewing a French scientist about the history of the caves, etc, and he’s talking about how overwhelmed he was on seeing the paintings. “I am a scientist, but I’m also a human,” he says, prompting Herzog to inquire about the man’s personal life. He used to work in the circus, it transpires. This leap embodies Herzog’s approach – humanising the sublime by placing it in the context of the ridiculous. His epilogue is just an idea that occurred to him that he felt might be important, and he simply leaves it with us… and it haunted me all the way home and still… Some alligators in a tropical biosphere 20 miles from the caves, heated by the cooling waters discharged from a nearby nuclear power plant. It’s all connected. We’re all connected. He imagines the alligators looking at the paintings we’ve been looking at and wondering if they have any better chance of truly understanding the human truth behind them, so distant and different were the artists. One of the scientists on the journey with him latches onto a detail of a man with a crooked finger, this detail enabling us to “follow” him through the cave where he left his unmistakable mark. But does that detail really tell us anything about him?

At only 90 minutes, it must be said that to me it felt much, much, longer. To many people, me included, it will test the patience. On the big screen, the variable quality of the footage can be trying, and there’s much repetition of some of the paintings. But I still want to say, this is the best 3D experience I have ever had. This movie (or the footage it contains) is undeniably important and, whether you like it or not while watching it, I’m convinced anyone would feel glad that they watched it. As Herzog has said in interviews, he barely considers it a movie really, and rightly so. It really is more an experience – as thorough a documentation as currently possible of what it is like to be privileged enough to enter these caves. Herzog’s narration and his interviewees touch on questions of art, history, science, time, cinema, and the nature of human existence itself. It’d be a sorry soul indeed whose mind wasn’t left buzzing by all this. I didn’t just mention my trip to the Catacombs in my opening to show off or segue into my review… what this movie left me with was a huge desire to go back there, armed with the thoughts Herzog left me. I knew what I felt when I was down in that darkness, but I couldn’t even wordlessly articulate it in my own mind to myself at the time. It was exactly what this movie is all about, and my second visit (or indeed, my first visit to any historical place from now on) will be completely touched by the beautiful mess of thoughts and feelings it delivers.