As with the first movie, this is clearly “Meh-” material: as Mark Kermode put it I think, it passes the time until Indy 4 well enough. But as with the first movie, it must be said that it’s mostly a good “meh-”. It’s bookended by a build-up and finale that are almost identikit copies of their original counterparts (“it’s a little gold man …” anyone?) but it has its moments like a chase down the tiny backstreets of London, a foray into Buckingham Palace, a nice scene around Paris’ Statue of Liberty (which reminded me I really must remember to see that next time I go).

It’s a Bruckheimer movie, so you should expect plausibility to go entirely out of the window, and that it certainly does around the point where Nicolas Cage manages to kidnap a President who seems almost willing to be kidnapped – even that’s a fun sequence, though, I’ve gotta admit. Likewise the stuff with Helen Mirren and Jon Voight as “mom and dad” feel often hideously like pandering to the older audience, but, y’know, it’s Mirren and Voight, it’s hard to complain. If you don’t watch movies often then it’s the last thing you want to waste your time on; otherwise, knock yourself out.

I feel luckier than most of those who’ve been disappointed by this one by the fact that my interest in it lay pretty much solely in AnnaSophia Robb’s appearance in it, and I found out how small her role was when I saw the trailer months ago. It’s smaller still than that, in fact … but at least I was prepared. The worrying thing to me about her presence here was how young she looked – like, just how long ago was this thing shot?! ‘cos right now, even around the time Bridge to Terabithia shot, I’m sure she could almost quite easily have played the older, more prominent, Millie. (this article suggests they shot August 2006 … I guess AS is just good at dressing older more recently, lol).

As to the movie – well, it’s as slick as the trailer looked, and I think the key lies in realising the rather dreary thing the movie is saying, and it’s something we’ve all wondered from time to time if we’ve ever thought about having a superpower and which one we’d choose etc; would we really use it to help people like Superman etc? Or would we just keep it to ourselves and peep on people in the shower (ahem)? But while this would seem to be a unique and pertinent, especially at this point in time, subject for a movie, it turns out to be pretty unexciting in the end.

I think the only thing that could maybe have made it better is if they cut out the time lag and cast a younger guy as the hero, keeping AnnaSophia in the Millie part (really, this is not just the AnnaSophia fan in me saying this lol). You can imagine younger teenagers acting this way, even as far as “acting older” like Leonardo DiCaprio in Catch Me If You Can. When it’s Hayden Christensen and Rachel Bilson … it’s just kinda pathetic. Also nobody should ever let Jamie Bell use his regular voice in a movie, ever again. I figured it might’ve worked here in the short clips I’d seen, being as it almost makes sense if he’s never stayed in one place most his life … but basically, the movie’s just not good enough for me to be that considerate over it.

The scene where Christensen finally reveals to Bilson his little quirk is quite the ultimate case in point as to why this movie is so far from realising its potential. He dances around the issue in a stupidly comic way, Samuel Jackson right outside the front door seconds away from killing them both; and when he finally shows her, her acting ability is revealed in all its hopeless glory as she “reacts” to seeing a human being defy the laws of time and space before her very eyes.

Having only seen 3 movies so far from this year (including this), I really thought this would be the one that made it feel like the year had begun. As it is, though the other two (Rambo and Day of the Dead) were no masterpieces either, I’d certainly watch them again much sooner than this one, which told me all I needed to know in one go and left me simply wanting to shout, “Next?”

On the plus side the visuals are good (Egypt in particular – Bucket List losers take note lol) as are the exotic locations. I guess they make up for the criminal underuse of AnnaSophia. But we’re still left with a gaping hole of a movie. That it ends an hour too soon (not that I’d want another hour; but seriously, no ending in movies has ever made me think “That’s it?!” so loudly) is just insult to injury … and that Christensen doesn’t even learn anything by the movie’s close is just … grr, can you just tell that I’d rant about this for days if I had the time? I guess there’ll be a sequel … I mean god, if White Noise got one … I won’t even be rushing to download that … unless it’s AnnaSophia.

I was really impressed by Rocky Balboa ... and I guess it was a little dumb of me to expect Sylvester Stallone to do the same here as he did there; part because, in a sense, I guess he has done the same as he did there, only, not in the way I expected. Rather than instill the franchise with something more than the basic high concept formulaic nonsense as he did with “Balboa”, he’s really made here the definitive Rambo movie, just as he made the definitive Rocky movie in “Balboa”. I think the best review of this I’ve read recently said something along the lines of, it would probably feel more at home and play better on a crappy VCR, pan-and-scan and tracking problems included lol. He’s been that faithful to the general feel of the series.

Which is a shame – I figured especially with the titling of the installment, he was going for the same thing as Rocky Balboa ... reclaiming the franchise and showing ‘em how it’s done after being disappointed for years with how the sequels to his greatest successes were being treated. The last half hour of violence here goes some way towards making it worth watching … but it’s really mostly a letdown all the way. He had a gift here in that the title hadn’t even yet been used in the series (“First Blood” having been the title of part one) ... boy does he squander it.

Even more lavish in the visual department than the first, at first I worried this would be at the expense of continuing what looked like a really nice story in the first movie. The second part in a trilogy is like the worst kind of second act in a regular movie – you’ve really gotta have something to pass the time. What better surprise, then, could I ask for here than a very well done gender-based body-swapping subplot, lol. Sometimes the humour in this part gets in the way of more poignant matters; sometimes, in fact, I fear it’s lost in translation entirely. But this is still a rip-roaring ride, if only for the visuals, and since there’s 2 years to wait for Twilight Watch, it’s mercifully wrapped up neatly in the end, so neatly in fact that I wonder how the story will continue. Can’t wait to find out, though.

I’m kinda glad I saved this till I had Day Watch in hand to follow it, because this isn’t the kind of first installment of a trilogy that wraps things up neatly at the end just in case it’s not successful enough for the story to continue. It’s even more visually impressive than I expected, and again it’s a movie where there’s simply far too much to take in on one viewing. The ending is stunning and really clarifies what is really the sole purpose of this movie: to set up the rest of the story.