Okay I finally mustered the strength to watch the second half of this abomination, and dear lord, I’d nearly forgotten how terrible the first half was. I’m truly, truly not kidding when I say, this is the worst film ever made. I’ve had to create a new rating image because even one star is too much.

There are certain movies that are, as the old saying goes, “so bad it’s good,” and there are moments here that fulfil that criteria. Most of the visual effects need to be seen to believed (words cannot express the utter badness of them), ditto the acting and the way the actors are bluescreened into what appears to be a doll’s house set. But this movie is 3 hours long, and there’s a point where you simply have to stop admiring it in the same way you might admire the efforts of like, say, a 2-year-old wiping their own behind, and simply accept it for the insult it really is. I’m baffled as to how anybody watched the footage for this movie pass before their eyes and felt that it was releasable to the general public. I’ve seen porno movies with more integrity, probably better effects, lol. These guys really should be ashamed of themselves. If you watch this, and I kinda-sorta recommend it because there’s no other way of comprehending the badness, don’t pay – wait for it on TV, get it from the library, buy it from somewhere with a loose returns policy.

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