Well, at least one thing perked me up during the opening credits of this one – Jon Brion on scoring duties, whoo! Oh but that’s where my interest in this movie ends. No matter what Jennifer Aniston (who I liked in Picture Perfect, Derailed and “Steven Spielberg’s Director’s Chair” but loathed in everything else – everything else being “Friends”) and Vince Vaughn (who I’ve liked in plenty but isn’t exactly must-see to me) said in their many interviews about this being “different” from most other “stupid” “romantic comedies” ... it’s still the same old “men are from mars, women are from venus, and isn’t it f*cking hilarious how different we can be if we act as our genitals supposedly dictate!” shit. She works in art, he works on a tour bus! She wants a lemon centrepiece, he wants to play videogames! She wants love, he wants sex! Jesus.

Now – before someone says something stupid (too late, I’m sure), I feel compelled to say, yes, I know that people do act like this. But what I’m saying is that I’d love for those people to get a clue one day and realise that people act like this because movies and TV shows like this make them think it’s somehow acceptable and unavoidable, inbuilt, using their gender as an excuse (“I can’t help it, I’m -!”) – or crediting everyone with the same genitals as they have for something they and only they deserve credit for (“Well, you know, it’s because I’m -”). That all this is somehow funny no matter how much it hurts at the time or how much crap it causes in the long run. Get over it and get some individuality on your bones. It pisses me off daily.

Oh and here’s another tip – when things do go bad between you and your loved one … don’t turn to everyone who isn’t your loved one for advice on how to deal with the situation. All they can do is assume worse than you can dream and cause hilariously painful situations. Just go and talk to the person in question. If they don’t want to talk to you, if things have gone that bad, then you might wanna look back over your relationship and realise that a relationship that was never anything to start with (“You want a hotdog?”) turned into a nothing you want to rescue for some reason. Yes, this is what the movie tells you, so why am I saying it like it’s something new? Because you shouldn’t need a movie to tell you this.

I’m sorry my love life is obviously perfect. Movies like this are just so pointless to me. Where’s the pleasure – where’s the anything? – in watching two people … evidently idiots ... mindlessly bicker for an hour and a half?

If you have half a brain, and I hope you do, I can only recommend that if you see this movie, just keep repeating to yourself, it’s only a movie, it’s only a movie, it’s only a movie … and hide all sharp and shatterables.

Jon Brion’s score is ok. I apologise for this rant. I’m sure there are other opinions out there. Go and find them.

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 5th, 2006 at 3:04 am in 1 heart, Movie Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.