I feel the need to start this review by saying, I’m so not ageist. I love Harold and Maude. I have fond memories of a scene between Dennis Hopper and Amy Irving in the movie Acts of Love so beautiful it made me cry. But whoever thought people wanted to see Woody Allen and Bette Midler in a bathtub together? They really and truly need their head examined.

This was after I realised this movie wasn’t a Woody Allen movie – for some reason I’d managed to convince myself it was. He just acts in it this time around – I didn’t think he’d done that since the Seventies, lol – and it’s Paul Mazursky who takes the helm, not that you’d know … it’s very Woody-ish in the same slightly ass-kissing way the later Miami Rhapsody was. The review in the TV guide that lead me to this movie seemed to find it slightly horrifying that Woody Allen has a ponytail in the movie. Without dwelling on the fact that really it’s quite a pathetic attempt at a ponytail, I think more terrifying is the fact that the first time we see him he’s wearing a shell suit.

The movie has a little historical value, I guess – hairstyles, clothing, colours, music and background artistes are firmly stuck at the ass end of the 1980s. I liked the mime and the Santa Claus, and it kind of almost gets somewhere in the end. I’d personally sooner watch a combo of a decent Woody Allen movie, Steve Martin’s L.A. Story and Mallrats.

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