Night of the Living Dead 3D

Night of the Living Dead 3D 3 star

“Yes. When the dead walk the earth – you gotta call the cops.”

If I rated things based on expectations, this would honestly be nearly a 5 hearter for me.

In honesty, as expected, the 3D is hokey – admittedly this was a home viewing and that’s never been the best place for 3D. What often baffles me about these things is how some of the effects work while others fall flat. To me it seems brightly lit scenes fair best, as does more motion, particularly from left to right (I think that’s right). So, first off, this doesn’t quite fit a movie mostly set at night with (don’t get me wrong, for the sake of the genre, brava! but) slow-moving zombies, lol. But secondly, I guess I just wonder why the people who make these movies don’t figure out if the 3D effects will work before they commit them to the final cut, lol … I mean, I’m sure they do … it just, I don’t know, feels like they don’t :)

That said, I wasn’t totally unmoved by the gimmick – while the stoner character thrusting his spliff out into my face was just a doubled blur, the more subtle smoke ring he blows later works fantastically, and there’s a grisly moment involving the youngest character which is quite stunningly presented not only by pushing the 3D effect but also by freezing the frame. Even if the 3D works better on the big screen, however, let me just take the chance to say I don’t believe it should ever be regarded as more than a gimmick. Since digital effects and processing became so much easier film makers and goers alike have already begun to dishonor the art of the simple cut in making cinema … if we start viewing 3D as the next revolution I really think the art is doomed.

Yes. I seem to have become curmudgeonly.

The acting here, too, in honesty, is simply passable at best. It is, however, better than anticipated, and when you’re comparing it to Romero’s “classic” … let’s just say the acting is the last thing you’re gonna turn to in arguing Romero’s was better. The stoner guy was funny, I loved Sid Haig, and could have definitely used more of Alynia Phillips – who, let’s face it, is here presented as the most blatantly sexy jailbait since the little sister in Slumber Party Massacre, lol (the best info on her age I can find pegs her as being in the 7th grade 3-4 years ago … I sure hope I haven’t just said anything too dirty, lol).

Add to all this that the whole endeavour is clearly kind of questionable from the off, moreso even than the usual remake misgivings. Make up wizard Tom Savini already remade this movie in 1990, doing pretty much the only thing you could do (aside from the aforementioned acting) to improve on Romero’s original, and that’s apply the gore that Romero’s own sequels were so awash with. The world barely needed a remake then, so to do one now with the only addition being the 3D seems kind of insulting in addition to a little pointless and plain unlikely to work.

But there’s still a lot here to love. It’s 80 minutes short – always a fantastic thing to see in any genre but most of all horror. It pays very respectful, very funny, in fact, homage to the original by having the dang thing play in the background for almost the whole first half of the movie – and this is before, joy of joys, it deviates from Romero’s original, and most importantly of all, doesn’t screw that up. From the moment Sid Haig re-enters at the end here, I was honestly pretty hooked. I love the whole backstory introduced here about the bodies meant for cremation and all – and within the same scene of Haig’s wonderful telling of this exposition, the stoner guy’s mind “clinging on” past death as he zombifies … it’s a scene that for me really made the movie worth watching. It returns to Romero’s story in the end, and, as even the most stoned character here knows, everybody dies … no, it doesn’t leave you with anything approaching the chill of the 60s original … but it is a far, far better watch than it has any right to be.

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