I don’t understand Jerry Bruckheimer. I really, really don’t understand him this time, since it seemed like he’d finally stopped making the duds when the truly brilliant Pirates of the Caribbean came out. And even though I still despise Coyote Ugly, I’m always quick to point out that it’s only literally the last misfired minutes that ruin that movie for me, the rest of the movie is actually pretty amazing. But with King Arthur, we’ve definitely another Pearl Harbor on our hands.

When I first heard that Bruckheimer was going to produce a King Arthur movie, I really couldn’t believe it. As much faith as I still manage to have in the guy’s work (and, amazingly, that will probably continue even after this), I just couldn’t believe that this movie would actually be made. I mean … why? Why do we need a King Arthur movie, and why now? And why “more true to the real story”? It just all sounded like a big mistake. What about anybody who’s seen Monty Python’s version? They’re all gonna laugh at you! Laugh at you! Laugh at you! And would you believe it, there is actually a scene in this movie where the shots completely mimick the scene in Holy Grail with the taunting Frenchman.

I sat through this movie cold and bored and almost miserable. Nothing happens. The emotion is ridiculously forced by a stock Hans Zimmer score (couldn’t he have got one of his drones at Media Ventures to crank this one out?) Nothing happens. I mean… really, nothing happens!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 27th, 2004 at 9:09 am in Movie Reviews, unrated. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.