Sigh … I think maybe I’ve just been in a crabby mood this weekend, a number of things have really brought me down and made me want to break things. I wasn’t really planning to write much about this book if anything – on the whole it was average, as fascinating at times as I expected but full of a lot of repetition and overly righteous protestations.

I actually had few problems with it, and the rather rushed chapters at the end covering the many things Fisher has done with her life since getting out of jail (including, who knew? anonymous children’s furniture painting online) really closed it and left me on the positive side. Unluckily for me, I kept reading the “appendix” – “Warning Signs” – in which she talks about the things that should be looked out for in teenagers to prevent what happened to her happening again. I really don’t think there’s a better way to share my thoughts on this little extra than simply reprinting those bullet points, so, hoping Fair Use covers me, that’s what I’ll do:

• Problems with school grades and school attendance
• Lack of or a change in friends or clique
• A dramatic change in appearance
• Becoming nasty and argumentative
• Lack of participation in any school activities or sports
• Laziness; refusing to clean up after themselves
• Being idle (kids need to be active, to be involved in sports or working a part-time job)
• Sleeping all day
• Staying out late at night

(why do I have Angelina Jolie in Girl, Interrupted in my head sighing, “That’s everyone,” lol?)

Don’t get me wrong, those things are all negatives to varying degrees and in extreme cases should be reined in … but, y’know, from Amy Fisher? All I can think is: all of these except the last have applied to me. Now, no: I’m not running a multi-million multi-national charitable empire at the age of 27. But I never shot anyone in the neck as a result either. I hate to find myself being so blunt, but the degree to which this book’s ending annoyed me can’t be overstated.

But that’s not all. She then offers ways to deal with these “problems”. These are lengthier so I won’t copy them all … I’ll skip to the ones that finally made me almost throw the book at the wall in disgust:

10. Oversleeping is an obvious sign of laziness and depression. No one should sleep his or her life away, so wake your teen up on the weekends …

14. We all want to trust our kids. It is better, however, to be safe than sorry. Once in a while invade your teen’s privacy. Poke around his or her room a little bit. You can learn a lot by reading a note written by a friend. You might find drugs, condoms, failing test papers. The possibilities are endless. (You may also find some wonderful, positive things instead!)

Like I said, I don’t think I need to do any more than quote. Well, it boggled my mind anyway.

Don’t get me wrong, that last chapter relative to the rest of the book really is as “brief but total, unfathamable” a “lapse of judgment” as she claims her original crime was. I’m glad I read this book, and I’m still fascinated by her story, if not moreso. It has its stupid moments, but overall she seems to be a really together girl (sorry, I can’t seem to call her a woman – one thing that struck me when reading was that she’s nowhere near as much older than me as I’d always figured for some reason). Of course, the story has taken even further turns since this book, turns that kind of throw a lot of it into doubt. I haven’t been following that stuff too well so I won’t speculate. But like I said, I’m still fascinated by the whole thing.

“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”

Where do I start on this one? As with the latest movie, and, reading it back, I’m figuring I took the same attitude with my review of the last book lol, I think I just have to go ahead and type my brains out until I feel I’ve written too much, that’s the only way I can hope to really get my thoughts out there on this, the last installment of a series that has gone from strength to strength, growing with its audience year by year, even those of us who were far too old for it to start with, lol

It’s funny how I’ve complained to just about anyone who’ll listen these past couple of days about my mum pre-ordering the adult edition when I really wanted the children’s edition since that’s the version I’ve purchased from the start (my collection isn’t perfect – the first two are paperback as I came to the series late – but at least the covers match), but this last installment is curiously worthy of the po-faced, practically monochrome adult cover art. It’s a very complex novel. JK Rowling has touched on complex themes almost from the start, but it’s always been quite easy reading. I’ll admit that I’ve only read each of the books so far the once – I’m sure that the more readers know about the story, the more times they’ve read them, marked, learned and inwardly digested (to borrow words of an old teacher, lol) them, the more they will get out of this finale. For the rest of us, blind faith that “it will all make sense in the end” just about suffices. I do feel the need to point out that I struggled through long stretches of the book’s middle section.

There’s been so much talk about “who dies?” etc that in the past week I’ve been surprised to find my stomach tightening everytime I felt I was going to run into a spoiler – online, on TV, in life, didn’t matter, even I got swept away by the hysterical anticipation of the thing – JK seems to have anticipated this, and she opens the novel tantalisingly with a foreboding dedication (including everyone who has “stuck with Harry until the very end”) and a couple of quotes about death that simultaneously re-enforce and contradict everyone’s fears for Harry. I’ll only say this – you could be told a whole fistful of spoilers regarding “who dies” here and the book would still not truly be spoiled. “Who dies?” – even “Does he die?” – they’re simply the wrong questions to be asking.

But enough about death. The great thing about these books is no matter how low they descend into the horrors, JK always has a twinkle in her quill. I pointed out in the last review, rather shamelessly, and good for me lol, how much it thrilled me when JK had the bumbling duo Crabbe and Goyle turned into little girls by Polyjuice potion. Needless-to-say, when she did the same thing here (well, it’s a little different, but it’s still Polyjuice TG lol) so early, I was equally gobsmacked. From there on, there’s a long stretch where it seems like the innuendo threatens never to let up. I think for me it peaked with the line, when Harry receives a particularly wizardy version of your basic “Great Chat-up Lines” book, “Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches”, for his 17th birthday, and Ron tells him, “You’d be surprised, it’s not all about wandwork, either.” LOL. I loved the humour from the Weasley twins even when one of them has been terribly injured, too … “Ear, ear!”

As I said, there were stretches of it I struggled with – there’s a chapter towards the end, from which I took the quote I opened with, where I really started to fear the utmost disappointment. It’s almost like that scene with The Architect at the end of The Matrix Reloaded – but that line that ends the chapter, it pulls it all back, and that’s the case throughout the whole book, even in the longest stretches … it does, indeed, all make sense in the end. I don’t think JK could’ve ended this any more satisfying or unpredictably, not to mention so ultimately, as she has. Spoilers beware indeed – for there’s a lot to spoil. I cried at the end as expected … but not for the reason I suspected.

If you’d asked me about a year ago, I would never have guessed that Martin Scorsese’s documentary on Bob Dylan, No Direction Home, and this book, would appeal to me and set my mind on fire as much as they did.

I still remember vividly one of my better memories of school, and one of my better memories of the teacher and school in question, when instead of talking about boring Shakespeare or Austen (just exaggerating for effect, you understand), my English A-level teacher came in the room with a tape recorder, had decided to do something for a change, and had printed lyrics sheets and cassettes of songs by Dylan and Suzanne Vega for us to listen to and talk about. I got the feeling everyone else in the room got nothing out of that ‘lesson’ but I came out the beginning of a fan of both those artists. Though I’ve collected a lot of Dylan bootleg stuff over the past few years, until this book and Scorsese’s movie came along I really hadn’t listened to him as much as I’d always intended to since that first encounter.

(Apologies, that last paragraph was more blog than review I guess, but I don’t care )

Dylan reads like some of the authors he praises – Jack Kerouac’s “On the Road” is a clear and heavy influence. There’s none of the nonsensical lyrical stew of “Tarantula” here, just a little time jumping and that’s as complicated as it gets. I can’t wait for the rest.

I didn’t write much on “Liquor” after I read it so I’m bundling these two into one entry, mainly also because that’s how they’ll live in my mind, just blended together as one continuous story, and because I still don’t really have a lot to say on either beyond, “loved ‘em”.

“Liquor” tells the story of how Rickey and G-Man, close childhood buddies turned perfect couple, realise their dream of setting up their own restaurant, a journey that’s not without its obstacles, like the psychotic cokehead Mike Mouton, or the cranky old guy round the corner. It’s an enjoyable ride through kitchen culture that really makes your mouth water. If you like cooking, you’ll love it. If you don’t, get ready to want to cook.

“Prime” continues the trend of the first novel, with more problems for Rickey and G-Man, from a bad review in a magazine to past near-fling, to far, far larger, deeper and secretive things, all tightly connected. Once you’ve picked up with the characters, like I said, it’s like you never left. “Prime” seems to have a lot more in it than “Liquor”. It begins with Rickey, now a celebrity after the success of Liquor, being asked to go and advise in an overhaul of a failing Texas restaurant. He overhauls it entirely, making it the ‘Prime’ of the book’s title, an all-beef menu in the same style as the all-alcohol-related menu of the first book’s restaurant. This takes up a lot less space in the novel than I expected. It’s when Rickey returns that the shit slowly starts to hit the fan and things get pretty scary.

I think I liked “Prime” more than “Liquor” but it could just be that I’m getting more into the author’s ‘new direction’ (I hate saying that because to me it’s not such a change, but this girl used to write some crazy stuff you wouldn’t let your mother read, whereas this is far more, I don’t know, wholesome). One thing I didn’t like much was the ending of the novel which to me felt a little rushed, and a little too, I don’t know, ‘happy’ … it felt like the end of a Thundercats episode or something, all the characters kind of stand together laughing, it’s sort of eerie, but maybe it’s just another way for her to distance herself from the gothy stuff she’s better known for and kind of give the finger to those fans who want more of the same. I can’t deny that I’m kind of one of those fans even while loving the new stuff (there’s a little gross description towards the end of this one and I was like “oooh there you are old school Poppy!!”), so perhaps that’s why the ending irked me a little.

I can’t wait for the next Rickey and G-Man novel, “Soul Kitchen”. Due out in April next year, I think. I really love these characters and I can’t wait to see where she takes them next.

… or, J.K., you naughty girl! If you thought the teenage hormones were raging too much in previous books, brace yourself as you open “Half-Blood Prince”. The funny thing is, even though it’s way more prevalent in this installment (“she was entering his dreams in certain ways….” lol hey don’t hold back, J.K., just tell us he’s getting sticky duvet lol), it never annoyed me as much as it did in places of “Order of the Phoenix”, eg. I thought it was really cute, and the big kiss moment towards the end (I won’t say the names) is even cuter than Harry and Cho’s kiss in “Order”. That whole love story ends a little too Spider-Man-ish for me, but it’s cute anyway.

The Big Spoiler – don’t worry, I’m not gonna give it away, but I guess I do have to comment on it. I really should’ve seen it coming. These books follow the classic hero’s journey structure (read Joseph Campbell’s “The Hero with a Thousand Faces”) to a ‘T’ and the character in question always departs before the big finish. I didn’t even have an inkling of what was going to happen in this book, I guess I don’t follow the rumour-mills enough or something, so it was still a gripping chapter for me. Speaking of the hero’s journey thing, don’t let Star Wars enter your mind while reading this one, it could ruin it for you, lol. I’m not saying this as a criticism, because I loved this book so much despite little things like this … but it is one hell of an Empire Strikes Back-type ending.

J.K. has a lot of work to do in book seven. Going back to the hero’s journey, and my comparing it to Empire Strikes Back eg., I mean, that’s where we are in the story at the end of book six, lol, we’re like only just past half way. The way J.K. has set up Harry’s task for book seven, what’s yet to come could easily fill another five books, let alone one. That will be a seriously thrilling read.

I’ve loved all the books so far, and I’ll love the seventh book. I just love Harry Potter in general, so it goes without saying that I love this one too: a review by me, I guess, seems kind of redundant – I’m always gonna say, in a few too many words, basically, “I love it! I love it!”. But this could definitely be my new favourite of the books, like Azkaban is by far my favourite of the movies. I have no idea if it’s anything to do with the quality of the writing or the plot etc, it could simply be that I’m at that point of interest, I loved the last movie more than any of them, etc, I’m probably just way more into it. Anyway, J.K. certainly hasn’t messed anything up, this is an incredibly involving book … and on a personal note, I’ve gotta say whooo! she finally used that Polyjuice for a good purpose, hehe … I knew she couldn’t get through all seven of these things without some good ol’ gender swapping, and it’s my favourite kind to boot lol I could give her a big hug just for that, when I reached that part I kind of put the book down and stared, like, “whoah, dude!” lol.

And here’s what you’ve all been waiting for, the spoiler is …. Tonks’ hair is pink again at the end!

I figured I ought to read the book before the movie, and I’m kind of glad I did. I don’t know quite what I expected from “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” – and I can’t quite understand why exactly it was that I never bought it at school (every Thursday, all four of the books would be lying on the same table of the school bookshop, and as avid a reader as I was back then, I must’ve bought almost every book except those four). I think I would’ve really loved this when I was 11 or 12. Now, it’s not so much my kind of thing. While there are clever moments, I can never get away from how much the book sounds like it was written almost stream-of-consciousness, when it could’ve been more deep and crafty. There are way too many stupid words and names that get in the way of the genuinely funny. I can see a similarity in J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter books – only her names and words aren’t quite as annoying – and Roald Dahl … these are the last books I would’ve thought I’d be comparing “Hitchhiker’s” to before reading it.

I’m probably slightly exaggerating my response because so many people love these things. There’s stuff that I really loved – and I can see myself enjoying the movie infinitely more, in fact, I can’t wait to see it – but it’s not a book I’ll be approaching again very soon.

I bought the new film tie-in edition which was even more a bargain at £3.73 than I initially thought. The book itself is shorter than I expected, and nearly half of this edition’s pagelength is taken up by an afterword and interviews with cast and crew etc. It details the whole sordid story of getting the movie made, and really gets you involved with the whole emotional journey to the point where I almost felt guilty for not really liking the book. There are two bunches of glossy colour photos from the movie and behind-the-scenes, too. All tie-ins should be this good.

I don’t normally read books like this but I’m so glad that I picked it up at random. It’s not masterpiece literature, but if, like me, you like Paris, whether you’ve been there, are going there, want to go but can’t, I strongly recommend it.

It’s about a girl called Molly, fresh out of university, hating her job as a secretary until her boss, Malcolm, invites her on a business trip to Paris. It seems her life may finally be improving until she overhears his plans to get in her knickers on the trip, and, in a fit of rage, she quits. Instead of going home, however, she decides to get on a Eurostar to Paris for the weekend anyway. Shortly after, Malcolm realises she has inadvertently taken a crucial disk for their business trip. While Molly discovers herself with new friends and lovers in the City of Lights, as well as a life-altering surprise, Malcolm frantically searches for her.

When I picked up this book, I was just in the mood for anything. The cover pops “quick, easy read”, the word Paris instantly grabs my attention but I really didn’t know how much my favourite city would really feature in the book. A free guide to Paris cellophaned to the back clinched the deal But I shouldn’t have feared – once Molly disembarks the Eurostar, Paris is on every page. Places I’ve been, places I want to go to, places I’ve never heard of.

I feel like I’ve experienced the Lost in Translation effect from the other end with this book. I couldn’t fathom why so many people loved that movie, but I know that a huge volume of its fans have been to Japan. I imagine had that movie been set in Paris and so lovingly portrayed all the quirks of French culture (as this book does) as it does for Japan, I would’ve been all over it. Likewise, if this book had been set anywhere else, it just wouldn’t have been as special to me, just another cheesy romance still sitting on the shelf.

It is cheesy… very cheesy, soap cheesy. The “big secret” is, when it’s first revealed, completely ridiculous. I was surprised, though, by how quickly I recovered from it. And you always know that Robyn Sisman is going to chaperone the story to the place you want it to go in the end. I’d never have expected to read this book. It turns out I was in the mood to read exactly this kind of simple romance, without knowing it, and I was lucky enough to find myself putting this through the checkout. Now I really want to go to Paris again.

I think if it were told by anyone else, this story could’ve been pretty damn dreary. But Alan Parker turns out to be a hell of a good author (of course, he wrote the screenplays for a few of his movies, but he’s better known for his visual flair than way with words).

The story follows a young pickpocket through, basically, most of his life: how it started, where it took him, who he met along the way. It’s mostly, though, one of those great journeys through chunks of American history – it starts in 1906 with the San Francisco earthquake, which proves to be Tommy’s (the hero) first taste of thievery … it goes on, for a long stretch, through Prohibition … and ends back in San Francisco, shortly after the building of the Golden Gate Bridge. Other clear interests of the author find their way in too: a lot of talk about wine-tasting, which always bugs the hell of of me, this was my least favourite part of the book.

It seems inevitable to me that Parker will one day develop this into a movie. I hope I’m not wrong, I’d love to see these characters brought to life onscreen.